Make friends not dating

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“[With these sites] you can skip the insecurity of, ‘Oh, they’re so busy, they don’t need friends,’” Shasta Nelson, founder of Girl Friend Circles told the .Because, let’s face it, sometimes making new female friends is hard, sometimes harder than dating.Men were also more willing to act on this mistakenly perceived mutual attraction.Both men and women were equally attracted to romantically involved opposite-sex friends and those who were single; “hot” friends were hot and “not” friends were not, regardless of their relationship status.These results suggest that men, relative to women, have a particularly hard time being “just friends.” What makes these results particularly interesting is that they were found within friendships (remember, each participant was only asked about the specific, platonic, friend with whom they entered the lab).This is not just a bit of confirmation for stereotypes about sex-hungry males and naïve females; it is direct proof that two people can experience the exact same relationship in radically different ways.Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual.

In a follow-up study, 249 adults (many of whom were married) were asked to list the positive and negative aspects of being friends with a specific member of the opposite sex.However, men and women differed in the extent to which they saw attached friends as potential romantic partners.Although men were equally as likely to desire “romantic dates” with “taken” friends as with single ones, women were sensitive to their male friends’ relationship status and uninterested in pursuing those who were already involved with someone else.Can heterosexual men and women ever be “just friends”?Few other questions have provoked debates as intense, family dinners as awkward, literature as lurid, or movies as memorable. Daily experience suggests that non-romantic friendships between males and females are not only possible, but common—men and women live, work, and play side-by-side, and generally seem to be able to avoid spontaneously sleeping together.Thirty-year-old writer Rachel Bertsche chronicled her adventures trying to find new female friends in her book released December 2011, “MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend.” After she moved to Chicago, she found that making new female friends wasn’t all that easy -- she had to actively go out and find them. Bertsche said that after publishing “MWF Seeking BFF,” lots of women contacted her to share similar experiences: I heard from so many women on their own BFF searches because friends had moved, or their pals got married and had kids and suddenly had less free time, or because they wanted to settle down and their besties were still looking to party all the time.

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