The lengthy and challenging process of helping spouses to master and resolve their angry feelings, impulses, and ideation, which lead to significant stress and impairment, will be described in this chapter.
The effectiveness of psychotherapy for personality disorders has been demonstrated (Perry, J.
A., et al., 1990.) Spouses with narcissistic PD and dependent PD regularly overreact in anger and aggressive behaviors when their needs are not met immediately or when they face frustrations and stresses in their lives.
In marked contrast to other PD spouses, individuals with these two personality disorders often do not have significant unresolved parental anger from childhood and adolescence which is misdirected later.
These weaknesses can be so strong, such as selfishness, excessive anger, controlling behaviors, insecurity and difficulty in trusting others, that grace is also necessary in order to master them.
W, 1985) and between restricting anorexics and obsessive-compulsive PD and between normal-weight bulimia and histrionic PD (Wonderlich, S.In our clinical experience passive-aggressive anger, which is the rather sneaky covert expression of anger through irresponsibility, refusal to give oneself, lack of a cooperative attitude and silent treatment, are frequently seen in histrionic, dependent, narcissistic, and borderline PD spouses.Louise regularly overreacted in anger to minor stresses in married and family life.This chapter will present information on PDs and on the important role of forgiveness in resolving the excessive anger, difficulty in trusting, fears and profound sadness from childhood emotional "wounds" with one or both parents that is present in most of these spouses.An exception would be those with a narcissistic disorders.Many personality disorder (PD) spouses have conflicts with poor impulse control, episodes of aggressive behavior, and anger attacks ( Fava, M., et al., 1993; Gould, R., et al., 1996 Millon, T.